I miss our 3am phone calls while she’s sleeping. I miss the sound of your voice :(
First off; I love you.
Our relationship, it was a painful relationship. More painful than anything I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know if it was because of our overloading of love and passion for each other pr everything else that came of it. I learnt so much from all that we had, I learnt how to deeply and truly love and I learnt what its like to be completely broken by someone. Maybe when it’s not the right relationship, it just isn’t the right relationship.
Sometimes I’m ready for a brand new relationship, but then you pop up and its like nothing and no one could feel more right for me, than you.
I’m sorry if you think that I am selfish. I hope you can see what is in my heart. I hope you know how truly I long for your love. I want it to be everlasting and I know that it can be; and I know that somewhere in that heart of yours that I’ve regretfully turned cold- you know it too. I wish you could read my thoughts, but you can’t, you never really have. I guess I keep calling you because I want to know that you’ve have moved on… I mean I know you have, but our hearts are in between us both, but so distant. I feel as though closure is something I am never going to get because all the “what ifs” keep sneaking up on me time and time again. The time we spent together was one of the defining moments in my life. It changed me in ways that only you know, or could understand; I myself can still not fully grasp it.
I love you. All anyone would say that I was “young and naive”. But i knew exactly what love was, and we had it. I thought I was incapable of love but you taught me how. I loved you like no one else has, or ever will. When I was with you and when I was enveloped in your love, I always thought about you. Everyday my mind was fully devoted to you.
When we were together, you were all that I thought about. You were all that I cared about. I may have a hard time expressing my love but you melted my heart. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I never knew what love was until we met. I never thought I was capable of that kind of love. Similarly, I never thought that I was capable of so much hurt and bitterness, yet here we are throwing words at eachother like we’re both worthless.
I love you so much.
When I say I loved you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore. I’m using love in a present tense; like “I loved you passionately”, you know? Your properly frowning at me right now, and now your doing that adorable little giggle that makes my face light up :)
You have touched my heart in ways I can never imagine. I think once you love someone, you are marked for life. You were once part of my life and I would carry that with me for the rest of my life. You are my scar, a never fading memory, where a love once existed, our life together; seems like it’s lost in space and time somewhere out there..
The girl you once knew and the girl who once loved you has grown, I’ve changed, I’m different; your different. I’d like to believe that I changed for the better because of you. Although it was hard not to be bitter given that you have broken my heart so many times, and that I; have broken yours. I want the cracks that are woven through our sore hearts to be smoshed back together; where they belong. But this alternate reality I’ve been daydreaming about for several months now is making my mind go crazy. How can I not think about you? Do you think about me? As much as you cross my mind.. I hope so…
I don’t know if you can fully understand what you did to me. I know I’ve been cruel to you. I know that I’ve hurt you. I know it is not right to hurt someone, it’s never okay to hurt someone, but I thought that since you’ve hurt me, I want to hurt you back. I wanted to dig that dagger straight through you. I hate your ex girlfriend, I hate myself, and I hate your current girlfriend. Why won’t you be my lover again?
It was like you never allowed me to express my sadness when you betrayed me. It hurt because you took my love and never explained why you could do something so hurtful to the person you say you love deeply. It wasn’t just that. I trusted you to take care of me. I trusted that when times would get tough, you would be there for me and not take advantage of my generosity. But you did. You took advantage. What really hurt was that you have never allowed me to express my sadness. When I tried to tell you how much I was hurting, you didn’t allow me to speak. It hurt because you never explained why you did something so terrible. And then I started being terrible, and that’s where the fighting begun. I hate our past, and although how much it deeply saddens me; I crave it. I want your back and every beautiful moment we shared.
It feels like you just want to bury us. Burn everything and let the dust softly drift away with the wind as time moves forward and you forget me. I can’t bury it, and I can’t make these feelings go away. You in all your beauty, how could anyone blame me for having you on my mind constantly?
Have I not tried to give you my love, my body and my soul? My everything! I tried to give you everything.
I still remember the first time I allowed myself to truly feel what I felt inside, for you. I was bursting with love and emotions and I just wanted to scream it to the world. You said that love isn’t enough. Yes. You’re right. Love isn’t enough to make you stay, because I suck, don’t I. I hurt you and in the time it’s going to take for you to forgive me; I will be lost somewhere, but you won’t be able to find me. I’ll be alone, wondering everyday what your doing; you will always be on my mind.
Love is enough, Elle. It always will be for us.
There was a time when I blamed you for my unhappiness. The house fire has put a hole in my soul, and when I was with you; I found true happiness, and you made the hurt vanish; and the times when you were off somewhere else, I was envious you weren’t here to put a smile on my face. It was wrong of me to think that. It wasn’t you I should have been angry at, I know that now; I shouldn’t have been angry at all..
I wanted you to read right through me so I wouldn’t have to explain what was in my heart, and ever reason why I was aching; but no one can do that.
I wanted you to fall in love with me, I wanted you to love me because I never felt that at home. I never felt loved. I never felt needed. No one will ever show as much love and compassion for me, as you did; and still do. You seem to have needed me. You seem to have loved me. And for that, I’m very grateful.
“love should never be jealous. Love should always be kind……”
My own words hurt me.
How could I be so stupid.
I am do ashamed of breaking the one person who I cherish most.
I’m sorry.
I’ve always wanted to run away from my problems, I usually always do. I’ve always wanted to run away from my sadness. But I know that I can never run away from anything. This is who I am. I am who I am. I can never deny who I am. I can never deny myself. Running away would feel good but it wouldn’t feel right.. I want to run away with you though, right now. Thats all I want. Can we run away together? Please? I want to marry you. Lets start a brand new life..
I’m empty because your not here and it’s slowly destroying me.
When I found out you had found a girlfriend, I felt so miserable, that you could move on and i was still here dwelling in all that we had. Crying myself to sleep and screaming at myself for being so foolish to think you’d come back to me..
I guess I always wanted you to love me and to continue to love me even if we’re no longer together, just to show me you wanted me and that maybe we could be together again. My love i have for you in my heart will take years to wash away, and right now; its burning brighter than it ever has. I guess I admit I’m selfish for that. I wanted to go to sleep at night, knowing that somewhere out there, you were thinking of me. I use to be able to sleep holding you every night and now being under the same night sky as you, brings me comfort. I miss you. I’m getting so good at being lonely and all I can think it that I will never open myself to someone again because I’m just building the walls that surround me higher and higher.
It feels as though you have stopped loving me. It’s what I’ve always wanted for you, happiness; but I guess I was not prepared how much it would hurt, the wounds your new lover has engraved into my heart and to deep, there bleeding; like a old sore, that never scabs; it just weeps; constantly.
I won’t ever forget our first kiss. Oh how I long for you sweet kisses and your precious lips. I loved that when you held my hand, you looked at it as if it were the most precious thing on the entire planet. The day I crammed so much courage into me so I could walk into your work with the big bunch of white Lillie’s and make you mine. I would never forget that. I will never forget you. Unconditional love.
Right now, there is no bitterness and sadness in my heart anymore, only hope.
Come back to me, PP.
Forever on my mind.
All my love,
Forever and always;
JLM
xoxoxoxoxox
You don’t hold me back! if anything at all you push me to be greater; you make me better, you make my whole entire existence worth while. Every moment your around, makes my life more and more wonderful; every second I have with you; I cherish.
You are exquisite, perfect.
No one will ever compare to you, my love. Your beautiful, I miss waking up every morning and telling you that, I miss everything. Even fighting at 3am. I just want you around, I want to hold your hand again and with that, your heart.
I need you.
I will never hurt you, again.
I’m so sorry;
So, so terribly sorry.
I love you.
By The Horns - Julia Stone.
you knew that she was scared
but you took her anyway
you told her she was everything
then you had your wayand she told you that she loved you
you told her you were tired
the things we say…
once we’ve got what we desire
I believe in love
I believe in love
no darling you cant take that away from me
